Bugs, Cookies, and other weird stories

Here is what pregnancy does to me, a small recap of the past few days:

1. Saturday night, dinner at the in-laws. Spent an hour, at least, watching MIL cook dinner. It looked and smelled great.

Fast forward 5 minutes later, to eating dinner. OMG gag. I felt bad, I could barely eat half of it and literally had to turn my chair sideways so I didn't have to look directly at it.

2. Last night I made Spaghetti, C and I sit down to eat it. Like 5 bites into swear there is a bug in my mouth!!!!! A BUG!!!!!!!! I gag, spit, flair, run around the house trying to drink a gallon of water, and basically ruin dinner for both of us.

(btw I don't know if it was a bug, I must have swallowed it)

3. I want waffles SO FREAKING BAD.

4. I have the attention span of a gnat.

5. I ate a cheeseburger for lunch today. I normally would never prefer a cheeseburger.

I ate it with tater-tots.



I started panicking when I had eaten half of them.

I started tearing up when I only had 2 left.

And I wanted to throw up and vowed never to eat tater-tots again when I'd eaten the last one.

6. I just finished a big soft peanut butter cookie, and now I never want another one.

I am annoy myself.

Self Help - Enneagram Personality Type

I believe that this post more or less ties back to the New Years "goals" I had come up with.

Either way, I feel like this deserves it's own post.. and .. .cuz I can.

I may have mentioned previously my love of therapy.

If you haven't tried it, it's great, highly recommended for any mental ailment, even if it seems like something very simple.

Within the past couple weeks I have decided that some major changes need to happen. I think the freeway "breakthrough" really emphasized that for me.

My top personal, self help, goals:

1. Develop my own sense of identity

2. Work on the strengths of my personality that I have lost over the years
a. Timeliness
b. Organization
c. Independence
d. Follow through

3. Overcoming perceived fears


I was introduced to something called Enneagram Personality Type



This is by far, is the coolest, and most creepily correct, personality test I've ever done.

I was in absolute shock at how accurate the descriptions (both good and bad) are of me. It is crazy! (I'm a type 9 btw)

The best part is that I can easily identify all of the negative personality traits that I need/want to work on.

Click here to take the test (I know you will find it interesting)


After you figure out your personality number you can read in-depth info on it, and how you and your partner are together if you know their type. The doc says there is a book with much more information, I will probably pick it up from Barnes & Noble next time I have a chance.


So if anyone actually takes the test, please post a comment and let me know what you thought, I find it so interesting, I am very curious if others find that theirs is a match also.

Enjoy!

Versatile Blogger

Much thanks to Jen from her blog Our Life Adventure for passing on the Versatile Blogger award to me! :)





Rules of this award:
1. Be kind and give thanks to the blogger who awarded you, + link to their blog.
2. List 7 things about you.
3. Award 15 newly discovered Blogs with the award, and notify them.

7 things about me:
1. I like rocks
2. I have 3 cats
3. I stepped on my sisters fingers while ice-skating once, it wasn't that bad, but seriously a terrible mental image right?
4. I used to drive a VW cabrio, and even though the car was a lemon, I miss the convertable
5. My new favorite obsession is Pinterest, though I'll probably get bored within a couple weeks
6. I listen to music ALL THE TIME, especially doing dishes, I get pissy when I can't
7. I like blog awards, makes me feel special

15 blogs:
(I can't think of that many, but I'll give this to anyone I can think of)
1. Jenn from A Day in the Life of Jenn - cuz she rocks my world
2. A at Adventures of a Puuurplemoster Abroad - cuz she is weird like me
3. Marissa at Baby Noah - cuz she changes her blog name so often I, literally, am not sure what it is.... ;)
4. Btay at Can't Rush a Miracle - cuz she is just plain neato

Honestly, that is all I can think of right now, I will add them as I come across them though. I like awards, they are fun, I always have trouble with following the rules though :)

Freeway to a Better Me

I know in the past I have written a lot more about my anxieties. I haven't brought it up in a while.

Basically, I live in a big state of denial most of the time.

Cameron and I started back in counseling to work out some issues a few weeks ago. (nothing crazy)

(I love therapy btw, a huge promoter of self-improvement and emotional health)

So, one of the big issues that came up was the fact that I have not really conquered my anxiety of driving on the freeway. It has been at least 2 years since I have been on the freeway longer than a mile or so. ::insert shame face here::

I have been really thinking hard about things that I want to change about myself, things to make me a happier person. The anxiety has been a hugely embarrassing issue for me. And, frankly, the freeway is just faster for the most part.

So after dwelling on it and having nightmares (literally) for the past week, I decided today was the day to change.

And...I did it.



I finally got on the freeway. Not just once, and not just for one mile. But several times, and I went normal distances, to actually get places.

I literally started crying when I pulled on, it is beyond emotional to finally do something that I have wanted to do and overcome this fear that has been lingering for years.

I know that it will still take time and effort, continually working on this to get better.

But, today was a good day, and I'm going to take it for what it is.

A huge step in the right direction.

:)

Bridge

Well you guys, we're here.

I am 8w4d today. Baby #1 stopped growing at 8w3d and baby #2 stopped at 8w1d.

My next ultrasound is a week from today, where I should be measuring 9w4d.

This week is the pivotal point. It is completely stressful that I have to wait another week to find out if we have bridged the previous pregnancies.

I've been cramping on and off for the past couple weeks, and this week I am now at the constant "panty-check" point of paranoia, which is annoying. Holding my breath every time I pee, fearing the least favorite color in any pregnancy: red.

Shit, this part sucks.

I wonder if everything will go well next week. I wonder if it does go well if I will be able to relax a little? That would be nice....

I really need to find ways to keep myself busy, any suggestions?

Sadly, camping out on my front porch smoking cigs, drinking wine, and people watching is no longer and option ;)

Oh and, I can't tell if I'm getting a cold or if my major nose congestion is just a symptom....weird...

I'd like to introduce....

Baby G.... #3

Well, there is definitely a baby in there!

Heart rate was 152 (perfect) baby's growth was 7 weeks 4 days (perfect).

This is the first time we have ever had the growth rate be on target EVER.

Also the first time the HR was in the range of GOOD, not just "acceptable"

Really we couldn't have asked for better.

I will have to post a picture tomorrow (too many people at work to scan the image in).

Yay! :)

My new coworker is sketch

Ok, you guys.

I know that I said I was going to be super nice and sweet and rose-colored glasses from here on out.

But.....

I have to just tell you this.

First of, let me preface by stating the true fact that I have been blessed with a sixth sense. The sense of being able to accurately judge a book by it's cover within the first few minutes of someone opening their mouth.

Now, I will be honest and say that on a rare occasion (I can count twice) of all the people I've ever met, I was wrong. But hey, I think that track record is ok, I can live with that.

::chomps on purple Pez candy while tooting own horn::



So anyway. My coworker.

I was totally stoked that we were getting a new person. I mean, I just started this job and it is cool to have a full team now, right?

Well I can already sense evil with this one.

She is the type that sits there all innocent, you pretty much forget that she is there, then

BAM!

She is all up in your shit, and tells you that she "already handled that issue..."

I'm like, shit, I'm still new here, stop trying to show me up. WTF.

Or we had this big team/broker dinner. I was asking her if she was planning on going that night,

her: "no"

me: "ok, cool."

her: "are you going....?"

me: "yes, but really I haven't met the new boss yet, so this is a good opportunity."

her: "oh." (kinda attitudy and snotty)

Fast forward to 5pm. I see her in the elevator heading down.

me: "have a great night! See you tomorrow!"

her: "oh....so.... do you need a ride to the dinner?"

me: "uh....no....thanks....I thought you weren't going." ::major side-eye::

her (super overly sweet as molasses pie): "no, I'm going, see you there, bye!!!"

WTF. Weird right!?


More evidence:

1. Every conversation she has with anyone sounds like she is in an interview.

2. She races to every open item, then doesn't update the team she has it done (causing double work)

3. Something is fishy about that girl


I'll give it a couple months and see if my intuition was right. (I bet it is!)

I guess that is is, I SWEAR I will try to be nicer moving forward.

Unless something else like this happens and I HAVE to post about it.

I can't control that kind of thing.

Sometimes shit just happens.

Sometimes you just have to be mean.


p.s. if I am wrong and this girl ends up being my BFF someday I will totally delete this post.

7w1d

My first ultrasound is in a few days!!!

That is all I had to say....

Obligatory New Year's Post

I was feeling very inspired last week to write this, but it was too early. Now I'm late and I have no inspiration so this may not be very interesting, I'll do it anyway.

First, let's recap -

Major happenings in 2011:

1. I got pregnant the second time, which I later miscarried, so a win/lose really.

2. I had my golden birthday!

3. C got a new job! And finished his degree!

4. My company was being acquired. This was bad, but actually motivated me to get moving!

5. I did a bunch of new things that were fun! Kayaking, cooking class, new crafts, etc.

6. House projects: Back fence, front bedroom, front yard.

7. I got a new job!

8. I quit smoking.

9. I got pregnant again!


Goals (not resolutions) for 2012:

1. Be more positive. C and I had a discussion the other day about how negativity, pessimism, and bitterness are everyday feelings for me. I know that now, when things are going well it is easy to say I'll be more positive. My goal is that I need to remain positive even when or if things don't go well (with anything). I do believe that this has a direct correlation to how fulfilling my life is, how I feel about myself, and my emotional and physical well being.

2. Continue to try more new things. I did a lot of new things last year, conquered some fears and had a lot of fun. I really would like to keep adding to my list in 2012.

3. Get organized! C and I had a great start the past month to our continues efforts of getting ourselves organized. I hope to have organization down to an art in 2012.

4. Finish my degree. Obviously I have been working on this most of the past year. I know what I have to do and I am going to finish this year.

5. Payoff all debt. And not to air dirty laundry, but I'm thinking of making a little "pay-off-o-meter" to post here for inspiration, aka, constant reminder.

6. Have this baby. Obviously this is not exactly under my control...but ya...thanks...that'd be great....

7. Sell our house. Yes, I said it. I don't know if it can be done in 2012 but that is the goal if we can complete #5 from above.

8. Buy a new house. Aim for bigger, better neighborhood, not a money pit. Obviously this one is contingent on #5 and #7.


Ok I'm pretty sure that if I sat here long enough I could get to #100 no sweat. But I think I'll stop there. If I can even manage a few of those this year that would rock.

I hope that everyone had a fabulous New Year and have some great achievable goals for 2012!