Magical Birthday!

Today is my magic birthday. Apparently I made up this concept, no one else seems to get it. Ever since I was really young, maybe 10 or whenever I started to do simple math, I started counting how long it would be until certain ages. For instance, I assumed I would be married with at least 2 kids by the time I was 30-35, so I would calculate what year that would be in, etc.

More importantly, I always knew that in 2011 I would be 28 years old, on the 28th of April.

Not everyone gets to expereince their "magic" birthday. C's birthday is on the 4th of November, so his was when he was 4. Know what I mean?

I guess I just figured that this year would be special becuase it was so unique.

Yes...I'm weird...whatever :)

In case you are interested, a couple other reasons why this birthday is special: I was actually born on a Thursday and today is a Thursday! I'm also, 8w2d PG today, which if you swap it is 28!

So this year, for my birthday, I asked for my front yard to be finished. I've been living with a pile of dirt and weeds for over a year know. C and I got carried away and decided to rip out the front yard and never finished it.

Here are some progress pictures of what he has been doing! So sweet!

Instead of using harmful chemicals to get rid of the weeds, he used this technique of spreading out a few layers of newspaper to block out the sun and keep the weeds from returning:



He then covered the newspapers with new soil:



Here is the sod, which is freaking awesome looking!! One of the next steps is to lay a brick walkway up to the stairs:




This weekend we'll be checking out some plants and trees! So exciting! Best birthday present EVER!

BTW, since I never did an updated "fence" post, you can see in the picture here that C did build the gate! So pretty!

8 weeks!

Here we go!

7 weeks!

Here we go, 7 weeks...









Overall I feel fine. I am really bloated, but other than that, not much else!

After some consideration, I don't think I'll start blogging belly shots until after I've gotten past the 1st trimester. I don't think there will be much to see before then anyway :) I will be keeping them for myself just so I can post them all together close to the end of the pregnancy for your entertainment!

Heartbeat FOUND!

Ah.....huge sigh of relief.

The baby measured 6w3d which changed my due date to December 6th. The heart rate was 114, and they said everything looks good!

Because the baby stopped growing last time at around 9 weeks. C and I asked if we could have another ultrasound around that time so if anything went wrong we can catch it earlier this time. Surprisingly she agreed!

Now we have our next, "peace of mind" ultrasound on May 4th! At that point I should be 9w1d.

Also it was kinda cool that the tech said I O'd on the left side and showed me the corpus luteum cyst that develops after ovulation, crazy!

Nervous and Scared

That is how I feel.

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I'm mainly just feeling queezy. And no, its not morning sickness.

I thought I would be less worried about this part becuase last time this went just fine.

It feels like everyone around me is a little worried also. People keep bringing it up, with a certain tone. Like, its hard to describe. I think most people had never seen me upset, before the miscarriage. I think I hide my emotions well. (not like that is a good thing) But, when people were faced with, well, a depressed version of Katy, they were thrown off. I'm sure no one wants to see me like that again. I don't want that to happen again, obviously. So, I think that is what this "tone" means.

I'm not being super negative. I think there is a fine line between being negative and being realistic.

I want nothing more than for this to work out, to have a happy and healthy 9 months and be rewarded with a smiling little thing at the other end.

I guess I am just guarded. Trying to be less emotional about it, and more logical. Will this attitude help in the event of another loss....I doubt it. But its worth a try. I was extremely emotionally invested in the last pregnancy. And to lose that was indescribably terrible. So, I figure, maybe having the opposite approach isn't the worst idea, right?

Who knows, maybe I'll regret it later.

I think anyone who has experienced this type of loss probably understands what I'm babbling about. I do think it probably seems overly paranoid or jaded to those who have had no such experience.

Anyway, I guess I'm done talking about it.

I thought it would make me feel better to see it written out.

It didn't! LOL oh well.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up,

Close my eyes,

Jump,

and know that I've already proven once that I can handle the unthinkable, I can do it again if that is the universe has planned for me.

What did I do with that wonder woman logo.....ah...here it is :)





On second thought...this has made me feel better!

Damn! One year!!

Crappity Crap!! I totally was going to post something neato for my one year
blogiversary ! I missed it :(

Oh well! Here is something more simple and less extravagant instead :)

6 Weeks and the Magical Shower Experience

Six Weeks!!! Woo HOO! I was going to start with bloat/belly shots this week but I forgot to do it. And I'll probably feel more comfortable with that after confirming a heart beat on Friday (so I'll wait until 7 weeks).













On another, totally different topic. The past month or so my shower water has been slowing down to a trickle. The water pressure seemed to be getting worse and worse. The sink worked fine, same pressure, no change. My showers had been lasting twice as long as normal. SO frustrating.



I complained to C multiple times, and even started researching how to fix this problem. Because I'm sure my plumbing skills are probably awesome!

Yesterday he finally had enough of the pressure issue himself and decided to change the head.

OMG!


Shower-gasmic!



No words to describe how magical taking a shower was this morning. I wanted to live in there and never come out.

I ended up being forced out, due to slowly cooling water.

Note to self: increase water heater temp!

Interviewing while pregnant and the mixed feelings that go along

I'm in such an odd situation.

You know how when you are TTC forever and everyone around you says...relax...or

"just have something stressful happen in your life and you'll get pregnant"

Like finding out that you're losing your job can actually get you knocked up! HA!

hmmm....wait a second.....

Seriously though, I'm kidding. It was just a random coincidence.

But to the real issue. What the hell do I do??

I found out it could happen a couple months earlier now. By July.

I have a few options and have no clue what to do.

1) I've already started interviewing, had a couple with no calls back. Honestly though, how long can I do this? I know I won't start showing for many many weeks BUT lets say I get offered a job when I'm at like 11weeks, still not showing but it feels so dishonest. At least at this point I can always say, sorry I took the job before I knew! And it would be believable!

2)Hope that I get an offer for retention and get to stay on at my current company for a few months after close to be the wrap-up crew.

3)Hope the new company wants me? Highly unlikely but I guess possible...

4)Just wait it out and get on unemployment. Take my maternity leave early and look for a job after. <----------- this option is scary!

I suppose I should just start doing the math and see what my best option might be. Yikes.

eeek! Stressful! But..... if this is what got me knocked up....I'll take it :)

5 Weeks

Appleseed!

Now What?

I have had a hard time thinking of anything to write since my big announcement last week.

I don't have any less to say really. I think its all hard to formulate into actual words.

Excited, worried, happy, confused, trying-not-to-be-excited, excited, scared.

Lots of emotions.

My first ultrasound is scheduled in 15 days.

I feel yucky this time. Nauseous. I'm pretty sure its not morning sickness though.

I think it is just nerves.

My first reaction was complete and total relief. The next reaction was...hmmmm... how can I just get my brain to NOT think about it for the next 10 weeks?

I'm trying to stay positive.

I feel so lucky.

I feel so incredibly blessed and at the same time, absolutely scared shitless.

Because my week 4 is coming to a close, here is what baby's size is today, Poppyseed!