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Monday, April 11, 2016

Welcome Lorelei - Birth Story

39 weeks pregnant and nervous as hell, is how I walked into the hospital that morning!

We had the induction scheduled for almost a week, I had to call in the morning at 5am to see if they had a  bed for me. Unfortunately I had a wait, and had to call in a couple more times before I was finally told to come in. I was happy for the extra time, took a shower, Cameron painted my toe nails, had some extra quality time with baby Grey.

I was pretty emotional about leaving him at home, I had so many mixed emotions about adding a second child so soon after him. I was worried I wasn't giving him enough "only child" time, and that I would have to divide my love and attention too much when the new baby got here. I was told it wouldn't be so bad once she came, so I was looking forward to dropping the guilt.

Cameron and I were finally off! I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up! With Grey's birth it was a little easier because it happened spontaneously and almost 3 weeks early, I hadn't had time to sit and dwell on what it would be like. This time around I was worried about her flipping back to breech or back again (at this point I still didn't know if she was head up or down).

When we arrived at the hospital all the normal stuff went down, checking in, getting set up in our room, very familiar.

Here is my last pregnancy shot, I was GIANT!!!


Once I was all settled they check and I was still 3cm dilated. So not a lot going on in there.

By 1:15pm I was still waiting for the doctor to come give me an ultrasound to find out if baby was still head down, or if she had flipped again. That would determine the induction route vs. c-section.

She got there at 1:50pm - head down!!! Let's get this party started! She broke my water to try to induce more naturally (I was still thinking I might be able to get a med free birth)

3pm check - no progress, so bummed, they ordered pitocin (started the drip at 4ml)

6:30pm - not even feeling much yet, uped the dose to 12ml

7:30pm - still nothing, uped to 16ml

8:30pm - nada, 18ml

11pm - getting a bit dicy, sat on the birthing ball, walking around the floor like crazy trying to get things moving. Obviously gave up on the 11th of February as her birthday!

12am - out of nowhere BOOM, serious pain! I asked them to check me, 4cm - WTF I was so upset. I couldn't believe with that kind of crazy pain that there was only 1cm of progress!!

I asked for an epidural - with that kind of pain at 4cm I thought there was no way in hell I would make it through with no pain meds, so might as well get it over with.

Shit started to get real, really quick.

During my birth experience with Greyson, everything was so new, even the things I would dread now didn't seem as crazy because I didn't have any anticipation of what it would be like, not having anything to compare it to.

The epidural is one of the most disturbing feelings, just so completely unatural and yuck.

 Because of those feelings I seriously freaked the fuck out, I was kind of irrationally upset about getting it. I was shaking, crying. The anesthesiologist was super nice and I was a FREAK. Embarrassing. Whatever. On top of that I was in super duper serious contractions. I couldn't sit still, it was just all kinds of fucked up. Eventually it was over, and I felt, albeit slightly, more composed.

Then catheter time, another seriously dreaded thing. WTF is wrong with me!? I had a fucking panic attack when she goes to put it in, started puking. Thought I was going to pass out. She called in the doctor again because she thought there might have been something actually wrong with me. Of course there wasn't, and I felt like an asshole and I think the doctor was pissed because she didn't check me out for more than a minute before she called him in. So annoying.

After all was calm (it was only a few minutes it just felt like a million years of stupid).... I felt different, even through the epidural I felt something change, kind of hard to describe now, 2 months later.

Because of this change, she checked me and I was at 7cm. Soooooo obviously the crazy contractions I was having before the epidural were not, in fact, nothing, they got me 3cm more dilated in just a few minutes!!!

From then I used the peanut ball on my side. After a while I felt another indescribable shift (I'm guessing it was hard to describe because I was numb from the waist down LOL) so because of that feeling the nurse checked me and I was 9cm (2:45am).

Getting close!

3:45 - 10cm. Of course I start freaking out again. By now the full impact of what is about to happen has sunk in at an alarmingly fast pace. So many emotions were running through me. All I knew is that I DID NOT want her to come yet!! I somewhat irrationally explained my hesitation to the nice nurse, who looked at me like I was insane. She then tried to rationally explain to me that this was going to happen whether I liked it or not.

I asked her if I could "labor down" for an hour (really just so I could try to quickly come to terms with what was about to go down).

4:00am - not exactly and hour, but she came back and let me know it was time to practice push.

It was looking like I didn't have a choice in the matter, so I agreed.

Brief moment to refresh on the last labor - super shitty, 32 ish hours, pushed for 4 hours, placenta broke off in me, doctor reached hand up to dig it out, extremely traumatizing. (this might explain my hesitation about allowing her out)

I agreed to push. I waited for a contraction and pushed 3 times. Cameron was watching (who btw was a total champ the whole time, even though I was having breakdowns the majority of it!!)

Nurse says, oh look there is her head! I look at her like WTF do you mean her head (at this point with Greyson is was still WAY the eff up inside of me, and that way for several hours)

Nurse tells me she is going to call the doctor and we can push a few more times.

Stop.

WTF.

I've only pushed THREE times, I was kind of yelling, like I thought she was playing a cruel trick on me.

I then of course say, hahaha sure, call the doctor, then again, rationally explain to her that with my son it took 4 hours and there was NO WAY that she was coming out after like 10 minutes.

The nurse - who probably fucking hates me by now - was like, umm hun, she'll be out in a few minutes.

I then completely lose my shit and burst into tears, once again, freaking the fuck out. It was all TOO fast, I wasn't ready.

So at 4:15am she called my doctor.

I hung out (freaking out) until the doctor arrived, less freaking out probably more just watching the room mysteriously transform in that amazing way into a magical baby birthing room. Crazy lights from the ceiling coming down and turning into awkward vagina spotlights, baby bed rolling out and flipping the heat lamp on (that means there will be a baby in it soon). A tray table rolls in with all kinds of evil silver tools, gowns come on, help arrives, everyone knows its "Go" time, I'm still in shock.

4:35am - doctor arrives (she looks tired obviously)

4:45am - doctor all dressed staring at me from between my legs up in stirrups. I'm, yet again, hysterically crying. She is asking me why and I'm trying to explain I don't know but I'm scared as shit and told her I would try to stop being a little bitch and let's get this show on the road, yada yada.

4:52am, February 12, 2016 - 4 contractions and 12 pushes later, little miss Lorelei was born. I couldn't believe the nurse was right, she was right there, out of me, no sweat. 21 inches, 8lbs 13 oz. She was placed on me. I was hysterical again, though happy tears and relieved tears instead of panic tears.

She was having trouble breathing, she had inhaled a lot of fluid, so it was a little frantic for about 20 minutes while they had the NICU doc checking her out and trying to flush out her lungs, but all was fine shortly after.

After all was said and done, the only person who made this birth experience shitty was myself. Everything went so well. Because of my traumatic first birth experience I was so caught up thinking danger was lurking around every corner that I didn't stop to realize that it was a fairly ideal birth. Lesson learned if there is another one, just take it in stride next time. Maybe ask for some calming meds


heheheh....

...Awkward...

And here we are:


And here was my pregnancy in a nutshell:






39 Weeks


39 Weeks - Induction Day!


How far along: 39 weeks!
 Total weight gain: I'm up to
Stretch marks: possibly some new, hard to tell
Sleep: This week I found a magic solution to rolling over. I had been very gingerly rolling over before which prolonged pain to my hips. A few nights ago I flipped over really fast, and boom! Way less pain. Sad that it took me so long to try it.
Best moment of this week: Put in a closet organizer with my mom. SO nice to have a place to hang both baby's clothes!
Movement: Yep - just started slowing down the last two days, I think she is cramped
Food cravings: Hershey kisses and coffee
Symptoms: Tired. Still random bouts of nausea the past week or so. Weird pains.
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs:
 Belly button in or out: Kind of sticking out this week
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Nervous
Looking forward to: having my body back, booze!

Thursday, February 4, 2016

38 Weeks - and the Version that was not to be had


I went in on Tuesday for the Version. To our surprise baby is now head down! Doc says she has room in there to do flips so we might still find out she is breech later, so we'll just have to wait and see. Induction date is set for February 11. I was pretty against induction that seemed unnecessary but I'm really tried of being pregnant and want her here now. There is totally a chance she'll come before then anyway!

How far along: 38 weeks! Brand new to me!
Total weight gain: I'm up to 209
Stretch marks: possibly some new, hard to tell
Sleep: I sleep better than last pregnancy BUT it must not be restful, I wake up just as tired as I was when I went to bed...
Best moment of this week: Thinking this might be our last weekend to socialize in a while we hung out with friends both days this weekend so that was fun
Movement: Yep - just started slowing down the last two days, I think she is cramped
Food cravings: sweet things and coffee
Symptoms: Tired. Still random bouts of nausea the past week or so. Back aches. A new one which is taking steps feels like my bladder or something down in that area is stretching in a sharp painful way
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs: Nada
Belly button in or out: In - flat-ish
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Calm
Looking forward to: having my body back

And for funsies a bump pic comparison:


Monday, February 1, 2016

37 1/2 Weeks

Not sure why I didn't update the last couple of weeks! I could have sworn I did a 37 week update!

As of today I am officially the most pregnant I've ever been. I had Greyson the equivalent of 3am this morning.

Also, at 36 weeks I had an ultrasound because the doctor wanted to check her position. Turns out she is breech which sucks. On top of that the machine estimated she was 9 lbs. The u/s tech suggested she was probably a pound less, so still 8lbs at 36 weeks! Already possibly bigger than Greyson was when he was born, and since I'm still pregnant, this baby wants to cook longer.

As far as her being breech, I have a procedure called a Version tomorrow morning where the doctor will try to manually flip her into a head down position (pushing around on the outside of my belly). It is supposed to be uncomfortable/painful. I'm really not looking forward to it. But the idea of a c-section doesn't sound that great either. Greyson is a handful and I can't imagine not being able to pick him up for a couple of weeks.

How far along: 37 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain: I'm up to 209
Stretch marks: possibly some new, hard to tell
Sleep: I sleep better than last pregnancy BUT it must not be restful, I wake up just as tired as I was when I went to bed...
Best moment of this week: Thinking this might be our last weekend to socialize in a while we hung out with friends both days this weekend so that was fun
Movement: Yep - just started slowing down the last two days, I think she is cramped
Food cravings: sweet things and coffee
Symptoms: Tired, soooooooo tired, worse maybe than first trimester tired. I go to sleep feeling exhausted and wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. I keep getting random bouts of nausea the past week or so, I never had this with Greyson. My back started hurting which sucks, never had that with him either.
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs: Nada
Belly button in or out: In - flat-ish
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Calm
Looking forward to: having my body back



Friday, January 15, 2016

35 Weeks

How far along: 35 weeks
Total weight gain: I'm up to 205 (but I started a no sugar diet and didn't gain from my appointment two weeks ago!
Stretch marks: possibly some new, hard to tell
Sleep: vivid dreams, and rolling over is a bitch
Best moment of this week: Honestly I don't know. It was a pretty stressful week, I can't think of anything that stands out as the best.
Movement: Yep
Food cravings: sweets, but I think only because I stopped eating anything with added sugar
Symptoms: Pretty similar to last week. Though, no more dizzy spells. Tired, soooooooo tired, worse maybe than first trimester tired. I go to sleep feeling exhausted and wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. I've started the Diclegis meds (were prescribed for morning sickeness but magically help my anxiety) so the anxious thoughts have calmed down.
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs: Much less cramping this week! But the doctor said I'm 3cm dilated on the outside of my cervix and 0 cm dilated on the inside. Whatever that means.
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Mainly stressed and anxious
Looking forward to: drinking soon



Friday, January 8, 2016

34 Weeks

How far along: 34 weeks
Total weight gain: I'm up to 205
Stretch marks: possibly some new, hard to tell
Sleep: vivid dreams, some insomnia, nightmares
Best moment of this week: Our friends who had found out they were pregnant a few weeks ago saw the heartbeat after a blighted ovum scare, so happy for them! We'll have babies very close in age :)
Miss anything: I started a no sugar kick, so I'm missing sugar now
Movement: Yep, all the time now! Getting strong kicks, especially when there is something on my belly.
Food cravings: coffee!
Symptoms:I've had a lot more cramping, went in to see the doc about it, she ran some tests including a preterm labor swab. All negative, so she said let's just wait and see if little girl is just getting ready to make her appearance. My hips and belly hurt when I'm sleeping. Heartburn has calmed down, maybe she is dropping? Overall just getting more difficult to do things. I'm getting more emotional and anxious. Even had a few mini-panic attacks. So tired. Doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I'm always tired, which I find is making everything exponentially harder, even minor tasks. I've also started to get the hot flashes. It has been as low as the 30's and I actually find those more comfortable temps. I can't complain much after suffering through this last time in the dead of summer. Lastly, I've had a few cases of bending over and standing up causing dizzy spells and seeing stars.
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs: I'm going to say the cramping is an early sign of labor.
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: First time I'm getting a bit moody instead of just happy, getting nervous and stressed a lot more often.
Looking forward to: I just ordered her crib yesterday, should find out today when we'll get it in! No doubt sometime after she is born but it will be nice to have it when we eventually need it


Wednesday, December 23, 2015

32 Weeks

How far along: 32 weeks - one day early but I'll be busy tomorrow so posting today instead
Total weight gain: I'm up to 205! I've NEVER seen anything over 200 on my scale!!!!! OMG
Stretch marks: nothing new, but the old ones are becoming much more pronounced
Sleep: vivid dreams, some insomnia, nightmares
Best moment of this week: We finally put up our tree and decorated it! Also had my sprinkle last Saturday, lots of fun!
Miss anything: still booze!!!!!!!!
Movement: Yep, all the time now! Getting strong kicks, especially when there is something on my belly.
Food cravings: coffee!
Symptoms: I think I hit a wall in the last week. I am having issues bending over, putting socks on, picking up stuff, etc. I'm SUPER tired, like not happy if I don't get 10 hours of sleep cranky tired. Which is pretty much impossible. I think because of the cold I'm not swelling much, so thank you cold! But I had to ask Cameron to pull off my rain boot the other day, so I think there is some swelling starting. I am having cramps on and off that I'm pretty sure are mild and inconsistant contractions.
Gender: Baby girl, Lorelei
Labor signs: nope, besides the random contraction/cramping. I'm very aware the time is growing near though. I'm planning on getting things done the next two weeks while I have some time off work for the holidays. I could be totally wrong but I'm really thinking she'll come very late January early Feb. So in my head it feels like I only have a month left!
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy, getting nervous and stressed part of the time.
Looking forward to: Christmas Eve tomorrow and Christmas the day after! We are on super tight budget this year for Christmas because of my impending job loss, but Greyson has a bunch of fun gifts and I'm sure he will have fun trying to eat the boxes and rip the paper!