Pages

Friday, June 24, 2011

Oh my, another one of those days, God, I'm self centered

Honestly, I don't even like writing this post.

I feel like I should say something though.

So here goes...

1 year ago today I miscarried my first baby. I should have a 6 month old right now.

There, done, I'm sure I could dwell on it and make a big long ordeal about it and go on and on and on and on. But I don't want to. Most of those that are reading this already know the story. And if you don't, you can read it here. It was not a good day.

Here's the deal.

I feel like a big sad sack. I don't even want to talk to friends much anymore because every thing I say comes out like a freakin pity-party. Not cool.

Over the past few weeks, since miscarriage #2 I've been trying to become more zen and offer myself some much-needed change.

I updated my blog, gave it a new look, linked it to a domain name, so it is all mine, ALL mine (Bwahahahaha)

I changed my personal look, new hair color, starting my weight loss again, new nail polish, etc.

C and I have planned a getaway, plus slowly planning a larger Europe trip.

Other good things are coming soon. I'm interviewing, possibly getting a raise/promotion, and trying hard to get my school shit taken care of.

C and I are trying very hard not to focus on what we don't have (baby), and what we do have (lots of other junk).

These things are good.

I just hope people don't consider me the self-centered, egotistical, shit-bag that I feel like most of the time.

For anyone who does feel that way, well... you can sleep tight tonight, knowing that I am fully aware of these issues, and I'm working on it.

That is all.

Oh, and happy Friday :)

2 comments:

  1. Not self-centered at all! You are allowed to dwell! So glad you are focusing on the positive and what you have right now, today!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are one of the most unselfish people I know! I wish you didn't have so many of these milestones but you are an amazingly strong person and working to be positive, that is all you can do. Love you!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.