Me and My Infertile Avocado Tree

C wants to cut down our Avocado tree in the backyard.

It is fairly large, probably old, but it is also messy, has some dried branches, and isn't that pretty.

I keep arguing that I don't want to cut it down. I like it, I don't know why, I just do.

Over the weekend we decided to start building a fence between our house and one of the neighbors (there is a half-assed, pieced together, chest high fence currently that isn't cutting it).

The avocado conversation started again.

C: "I feel like you have an unhealthy attachment to the avocado tree." he pokes at me laughing.

Me: "I feel sorry for it, I don't want to cut it down, what if it is old?" (pouting)

C: "It doesn't even produce avocados." (side eye)

Me: "Maybe we just need to get a male tree to put next to it."

C: "hmmm............no."

Me: "ok fine, I'll just steal a branch from another tree and sprinkle avocado seed dust all over it."

C: "I think I know the problem." (smiles understandingly and pats my knee)

Me: "What is the problem...?"

C: "I think you sympathize with the tree."

***long pause, thinking, thinking, thinking...***

Me: (light bulb over head moment)

"Oh.my.god......the tree is like me, infertile. C, you are so insightful." (hangs head, feeling lame about being sad for my infertile tree)

C: "Don't feel bad. Lets buy some avocados and glue them all over the tree, it can adopt them."

(insert hysterical laughter)

So there it is. The tree and I have something in common.

I wonder if I'll start being jealous of the neighbor's, heavily fruiting, grapefruit tree now.