Monday, December 12, 2011
I Quit
Yesterday was Day 1. Terrible. Just terrible.
Frankly though, I don't think I'm very open about the fact that I smoke with everyone (like I'm pretty sure I've never even mentioned it in a post before).
I think the reason I'm writing about this is, it has been a long time. On and off for maybe 10 years. I've quit, started again, quit again, and so on. I've always been embarrassed by it. I know it is horrible for you, yet I love it at the same time. I think by admitting this out in the open like this it will give me a sense of accountability.
Stupid Nicotine.
With C's recent blood clot scare, it has given us more incentive to quit together. I'm not gonna lie, it SUCKS. I mean really sucks.
Yesterday's Withdraw Symptoms:
1. Tingly - EVERYWHERE
2. I want to kill someone. Literally, murder someone. For some reason yesterday it just seemed morally ok, as it usually does when I first quit.
3. Don't effing talk to me, ever. -aimed at everyone, sorry C :(
Today, Day 2:
Today has been better. It helps that I can stay locked up in my tiny cubicle, not having to speak with anyone. I read the worst of it is from 24-48 hours, I'm over halfway there! And Feeling overall more positive!
Symptoms:
1. Tingly - but not as bad
2. Murderous feelings - not so bad either! But today is only half way over...
3. I can't stop eating!!! Literally I've eaten like 10 cookies today, and if I hadn't run out I could keep going.
Hopefully tomorrow I can either find a healthy substitute for the insatiable hunger, or at least avoid anyone with cookies.
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I used to smoke in college and on and off a little afterwards- it was HARD to quit... but one of the best decisions I ever made. Like you said, I was embarrassed (still am) about it, I was always self conscious about smelling like smoke and I hated spending money on it! Good luck to you sweety and stay strong!
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