Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Weight Watchers....or....not.....

Weight: 166

No change.


I decided to try something new. I started using

We shall see if that works.

Basically all week I was down a few pounds. Then for whatever reason on weight in day (yesterday) I was exactly where I was last week! Frustrating much!?

So.. C has been seeing a personal trainer for a few months now. This chick has had him on a low-cal diet. He swears by it, as he has now lost a bunch over 10 pounds. 10lbs isn't a huge amount, but, he has also gained a ton of muscle, so I'm guessing it is more equivalent to 15-20lbs in a few months, which is awesome.

Anywho, I decided to give this a try. I'm at 1200 calories a day (which actually feels like a lot) and it is reasonable to lose 21lbs in the next few months.

Yesterday was my new "Day 1" and that reminds me I think I'll start taking measurements tomorrow too.

On the excessive front, I really don't want to set myself up for failure by doing too much crap. I am going to borrow C's pedometer and aim for the 5,000 steps program and see if that helps.

Wish me luck!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Goals - Updated

I know it is still pretty early in the year to be looking back on resolutions goals. But... a lot of things have changed already, so I wanted to revisit.

Also, I figured this might keep from slacking off.

So here are the goals, and what I've done at this point from my New Years Post.

1. Be more positive. - Working out OK...attempting not to be a whinny bitch ;)

2. Continue to try more new things.
- Booked trip to Europe
- Planning trip to Alaska
- Started hiking with C every weekend

3. Get organized! - Still In Progress

4. Finish my degree. Obviously I have been working on this most of the past year. I know what I have to do and I am going to finish this year. - Still In Progress

5. Payoff all debt. And not to air dirty laundry, but I'm thinking of making a little "pay-off-o-meter" to post here for inspiration, aka, constant reminder.   - Still In Progress

6. Have this baby.

7. Sell our house.
- After a few discussions we decided that with all that is going on this year, it is not the best time to do this.

8. Buy a new house.
- Same reason as above.

New Goals

6. Lose weight.  Via weight watchers - I WILL post my weight weekly to hold myself accountable.
Current Weight: 166
Goal #1: 145 by 06/23/12 (friend's wedding)
Goal #2: 135 by 10/12/12 (Europe)
Goal #3: 130 by 01/01/13
Goal #4: Maintain

7. Make my house a home. I'm tired of being jealous of other people's houses. I want to live in a comfortable, happy, stylin' environment. Because C and I pretty much decided to stay in our current house for at least another year or two, I want to make it a better place.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Just Stop It, You're Not Funny

So I have this coworker, he is creepy and annoying.

And I want to smack him.

First off, he is my bosses peer. A level or two above me.

In normal companies he should have his own office, for some reason at my company he sits in a cubicle right across from me.

I've only worked here for about 4 months, and the interactions I had with him initially seemed benign. He is totally the "class clown", you know, those kids you had in middle school that would totally piss off the teacher everyday. They start out funny but eventually make you annoyed because at a certain point, you realize you are there to learn and not make everything into a joke?

Ya, that is him.

He is the type that always has to be talking. Like, even if it is just to himself, or announce that he is walking away to get coffee. Hmmmm...gee... you are walking away from your desk at 7:30am towards the break room, thanks for clarifying where you were going, because

a) I am stupid and couldn't have gathered that and

b) You think I actually give a shit.

Our cubicle walls are really low, like when I'm sitting down the wall is about level with the top of my head. Mr. Annoying's coworker sits next to me, kitty corner from the oh-so-annoying one.

He decided after I'd been here about a month that he needed to pay me with $1 bills every time he stood in my cube to talk over the wall at his coworker.

Not only was he treating me like a stripper, but he would throw money in my unlocked drawer and totally invade my space.


Just when you thought you were siding with me, and would also throat punch him, oh wait, it gets worse....

Remember when I said the cubicle walls were pretty low? Well, this is great, he loves to walk up to the wall that I face (that is where my computer screen is so I have to face that way) and just stand there staring at me.


Yes, for long periods of time.

I ignore him and continue to type as long as I can, trying to hold my tongue, until I just can't anymore. I look up and say:

Can I help you with something?

Him: continues to stare creepily at me.


Him: slow creepy grin starts creeping onto his creeper face.


Him: "HAHAHAHAHAHA" Then straight face, then "HAHAHAH" then finally walks away.

Really? WTF.

Who does that????

BTW, he looks kind of like this:

(I think that is some old American Idol guy, that is the closest I could find, so no, I'm not being racist or not PC or overly stereotypical, it isn't my fault that he looks like this guy.)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Speaking of Crack Whores, Snooki is OMG Preggers!

For those of you who do not know who Snooki is I'll tell you. She is this lady that is on this show called, The New Jersey Shore Line or something like that.

I've never actually watched this show.

I think that the point of this show is to show the most trashy side of the state of New Jersey, I think they are all of Spanish or Greek heritage, I'm not sure, but they eat a lot of pasta.

No one on the show has a real name, they are all nouns or verbs not normally used as human names.

And, I'm pretty sure they live in the local landfill.

If you need a visual:


So anyway, I think they are all unnaturally tan, and frankly, just kind of icky.

They also drink exorbitant amounts of booze, do drugs probably, and oh, most importantly, are all prostitutes.

My guess is, they have STD's seeping from their pores.

Here is Snooki:

Definitely Grade A Mom material.

Good luck to her...

and all the other crack whores out there.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A hard pill to swallow

And here we go...birth control pills. I started last night. I has been 2 years and 3 months since I last popped one of those. It feels so incredibly backwards.

At least now I'll really be able to focus on other areas and temporarily forget about all of my baby-making woes.

:: sigh ::

On to the rest of life!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Rainbow at Midnight

When I was 14 or 15 on of my best friends, K, and I went on a trip to Alaska. It was summer, late June, I think. We traveled by ferry from Bellingham, Washington up the coast, stopping at various towns and cities along the way.

One of the places we visited along the way was a town called White Horse, it is located in the Yukon Territory in Canada. One night we stayed in this little motel along side a lake, surrounded by trees.

If you've ever been to Alaska or Northern Canada in the summer you know that the days are extremely long, only about 4 hours of darkness per  night.

On this night, K, her Dad and I went out to the lake, fishing I think, or sitting on rocks, or both. It was late, but hard to tell because you could still see the sun low on the horizon, it looked like what 6-7 in the evening should look back in the lower 48. In reality it was almost midnight. And as we sat there we both looked up to see a rainbow stretching across the sky.

It was amazing. I kept thinking, 'how many people can say they've seen a midnight rainbow?!' unheard of, and completely awesome. It is a memory I think back on quite a bit. At the time never knowing how much that would stick with me throughout the years.

So what the hell does this have to do with anything you ask?

Well, after another minor emotional outburst last night and a long talk with C. The conversation was really about coming to terms with the fact that bitterness and sadness really doesn't make our already crap situation any better. I have been falling behind at work, unable to concentrate on even simple tasks. Not necessarily because I'm constantly thinking about miscarriage or pregnancy or infertility in general...

I just have felt like I haven't had it in me to move forward.

I headed to work this morning, and there it was, right in front of me, a huge faded rainbow.

I wouldn't say I'm a huge "signs" person. But today it was different.

The rainbow, sappy as it sounds, reminded me that we do move forward. Even when times are shitty, even when things feel hopeless, or you are lost, you keep going.

The clouds made it almost impossible to see, but as I drove forward, it slowly it became more visible. It can be hard to make out the good things when everything feels so bad.  Like this rainbow, as the clouds lightened the rainbow slowly started to form into a visible shape, each color present, just as good things can become apparent over time.

It sure felt like a sign to me.

And it reminded me, yet again, of that night in the Yukon, witnessing something magical and meaningful that has stuck with me over the past 15 years. Just another sign showing me that I cannot plan on what is going to happen in life, but that if I stay open to it, keep my head up looking for it, I might just see something as simple as a rainbow, like I have, that has comforted me in times of cloudy darkness and given me a memory that is strong enough to last a lifetime.