Just Stop It, You're Not Funny

So I have this coworker, he is creepy and annoying.

And I want to smack him.

First off, he is my bosses peer. A level or two above me.

In normal companies he should have his own office, for some reason at my company he sits in a cubicle right across from me.

I've only worked here for about 4 months, and the interactions I had with him initially seemed benign. He is totally the "class clown", you know, those kids you had in middle school that would totally piss off the teacher everyday. They start out funny but eventually make you annoyed because at a certain point, you realize you are there to learn and not make everything into a joke?

Ya, that is him.

He is the type that always has to be talking. Like, even if it is just to himself, or announce that he is walking away to get coffee. Hmmmm...gee... you are walking away from your desk at 7:30am towards the break room, thanks for clarifying where you were going, because

a) I am stupid and couldn't have gathered that and

b) You think I actually give a shit.

Our cubicle walls are really low, like when I'm sitting down the wall is about level with the top of my head. Mr. Annoying's coworker sits next to me, kitty corner from the oh-so-annoying one.

He decided after I'd been here about a month that he needed to pay me with $1 bills every time he stood in my cube to talk over the wall at his coworker.

Not only was he treating me like a stripper, but he would throw money in my unlocked drawer and totally invade my space.

Ew.

Just when you thought you were siding with me, and would also throat punch him, oh wait, it gets worse....

Remember when I said the cubicle walls were pretty low? Well, this is great, he loves to walk up to the wall that I face (that is where my computer screen is so I have to face that way) and just stand there staring at me.

Staring.

Yes, for long periods of time.

I ignore him and continue to type as long as I can, trying to hold my tongue, until I just can't anymore. I look up and say:

Can I help you with something?

Him: continues to stare creepily at me.

Um...hello?

Him: slow creepy grin starts creeping onto his creeper face.

What?!

Him: "HAHAHAHAHAHA" Then straight face, then "HAHAHAH" then finally walks away.

Really? WTF.

Who does that????


BTW, he looks kind of like this:

(I think that is some old American Idol guy, that is the closest I could find, so no, I'm not being racist or not PC or overly stereotypical, it isn't my fault that he looks like this guy.)