I Hate This Post

Spotting continued over the weekend. I used the bathroom on Tuesday at 11am only to find a small amount of dark red blood.

I immediately called the doc, went in for an ultrasound.

Sadly, it confirmed what I had already been feeling since Saturday.

We lost the baby.

Growth stopped at 9w3d which was what it measured on our doctor's visit last week.
It could have happened any time from that day through Monday or so.

I wonder if I didn't actually hear the heartbeat over the weekend?

Maybe I just heard what I wanted to hear.

I'm going in for a D&C tomorrow at noon. I'm not scared because I've done it before, at least I know exactly what to expect.

This just sucks. I honestly have very little words. At this point it feels...just...familiar. I'm used to it now, which is pretty fucked up if you think about it.

Now, once again all I have are a few little things to remember this one by, just like the little piles I have for our other two.




And, my last baby picture I got yesterday:



There is more to say, I just don't feel like writing more now.