Oh my, another one of those days, God, I'm self centered

Honestly, I don't even like writing this post.

I feel like I should say something though.

So here goes...

1 year ago today I miscarried my first baby. I should have a 6 month old right now.

There, done, I'm sure I could dwell on it and make a big long ordeal about it and go on and on and on and on. But I don't want to. Most of those that are reading this already know the story. And if you don't, you can read it here. It was not a good day.

Here's the deal.

I feel like a big sad sack. I don't even want to talk to friends much anymore because every thing I say comes out like a freakin pity-party. Not cool.

Over the past few weeks, since miscarriage #2 I've been trying to become more zen and offer myself some much-needed change.

I updated my blog, gave it a new look, linked it to a domain name, so it is all mine, ALL mine (Bwahahahaha)

I changed my personal look, new hair color, starting my weight loss again, new nail polish, etc.

C and I have planned a getaway, plus slowly planning a larger Europe trip.

Other good things are coming soon. I'm interviewing, possibly getting a raise/promotion, and trying hard to get my school shit taken care of.

C and I are trying very hard not to focus on what we don't have (baby), and what we do have (lots of other junk).

These things are good.

I just hope people don't consider me the self-centered, egotistical, shit-bag that I feel like most of the time.

For anyone who does feel that way, well... you can sleep tight tonight, knowing that I am fully aware of these issues, and I'm working on it.

That is all.

Oh, and happy Friday :)