Super Crazy Fitness Freak

Just about a month ago I decided that I wanted to get my shit together and workout. Probably had something to do with the fact that I turned 32 a couple of days before that.... just sayin'.

I have worked out Monday through Friday every day except maybe two, because of a holiday. I started a detox tea cleanse thing. I have been tracking all of my calories, fairly religiously, in My Fitness Pal.

I haven't seen any results yet, but I'm sure it will happen. I think it is more about a lifestyle change than anything else.

Interestingly I used to HATE when people said, "think of it as a lifestyle change". Fuck you.

With my recent pregnancy loss I think it really just fueled the fire even more. I guess I figure if I can't be pregnant I might as well work my ass off trying to get my body back before I fuck it up again with the next pregnancy (hopefully FINGERS crossed sooner rather than later!!)

Previously I started a weekly weight loss check in. I was even boring myself with that one. This time I think I will just post on it occasionally if I feel like it, or if I made some kind of awesome progress or milestone.

I will start out that my goals are not necessarily about weight loss specifically this time anyway. It is more about feeling good in my body, feeling like I'm doing my part to keep it happy, eating right, working out, limiting intake of bad things (booze!), etc.

A couple of things about me.

1. I'm SUPER competitive - I am trying really hard to NOT be that way with this, frankly, trying hard not to be that way as much in general. It is stressful and stupid in most situations.

2. I'm VERY controlling. It is such an evil evil weird and creepy habit. The more I think about myself being this way the more I dislike myself. I really don't want to be this way. It is also extremely stressful and stupid, and pointless. They kind of go hand in hand.

I decided that those two characteristics about me are things I need to shill the fuck out on. For some reason I feel that channeling those two nasty traits into getting my healthy awesomeness on is a much better way for them to come out. I can control what I eat, how hard I workout, what I do to help get myself in shape. And I can compete with myself. Aaaaaannnnnnd problem solved. BOOM.

Let's see how that works out for me.

Brief overview of my goals (these are flexible (must ... not.... control....things)

1. Lose weight - probably about 30 to be back in a healthy BMI *notice I did not say to look good in a bathing suit*

2. Gain strength - this time around I'm focusing a lot on strength training, some cardio, and calories. I want to have some muscle definition

3. Eat clean - I will not obsess about everything being organic, I will not waste all of my money at Whole Foods, but I will attempt to eat as clean and fresh as possible, fulling knowing that I will not always be perfect in this area.

4. Improve self esteem - this possibly should have been #1 but whatevs

And that is pretty much it. If my tea clense works out I'll post about it.