So thankful.....that November is almost over...

I'm very happy this month is over. I usually cherish every ounce of the fall season that I can. November is one of my favorites. This year not so much. Stress after stress after stress. Drama Drama DRAMA! I'm totally over it.

December will be different. I look forward to holiday fun and taking a break from many things. Cameron and I had a serious discussion over the weekend. We've implemented a "zero stress" policy for the month of December (and maybe longer). I have thought long and hard about the things I've been missing out on the past 6 months or so. I miss friends, I miss relaxing days, I miss taking care of myself.

Even when I've been hanging out with friends I feel like I'm not mentally there. I find myself forgetting something someone said right after they say it. I feel like I've been a different person.

I hope we can achieve this goal, I would really like to make some changes for me and I can't think of a better way to do it. We need to work on our finances, get back on our strict debt pay-off plan. And take care of some long overdue issues.

The most difficult part of the discussion was the end. When finally we talked about another big stress that neither of us wanted to bring up.

The baby thing.

Ya, that.

Something that is always close to the front of my mind. And his, I'm sure. We ultimately decided that it was time to take a break from that too.

ah.... bitter sweet.

Well, mostly just bitter.

I've been putting a lot of time and effort into TTC: prenatals, pregnancy tests, green tea, pomegranate juice, temping, charting, timing, reading, ovulation tests, blogging....

I know that trying to let it go doesn't mean it won't be on my mind. I'm hoping that it will at least decrease the stress around that area of our lives. Though knowing that I'm a total type A control freak, I think letting nature take its course might be more difficult for me than the alternative...

I think its a good time to start preparing for the new year, which is rapidly approaching. The last thing I want is to feel like I'm drowning under pressure and stress. Which is how I feel most of my waking hours at this point. The new year for me, always feels like an opportunity for a fresh start. Not even about resolutions but about taking aspects of my life I don't like and actually making an effort at turning them around. Maybe that's a post for another day...