The first 6 weeks...

....were a freaking insane, chaotic, nightmarish, wonderful, amazing, crazy time.

And I miss them so much, and am also so happy they are in the past.

The first week home was basically just trying to get used to the fact that you have this tiny little terrifying thing that you are trying to keep alive.

Healing is hard work, breastfeeding is hard work, not sleeping is hard work.

It was ROUGH.

I wasn't eating enough, I wasn't drinking enough water. I was having issues. I have a hard time asking for help. I learned pretty damn fast that you just have to ask for help!

I feel like I got pretty lucky with recovery. Physically I felt light as a feather in comparison to just a few days prior!

I bled for 8-10 weeks. That part sucked.

I had a rough time breastfeeding. It was so hard, and not in the way I thought it would be (full post on that later).

I was SO happy to be myself again that I was not as tortured as a lot of first time Mom's are, I imagine anyway, but what do I know.

I was lucky to not have any post-partum depression.

We had him out of the house within the first week, for fun, not including doctor appointments.

I threw a dinner party for Halloween, he was only 4 weeks old.

I probably took on way too much. I spent my entire maternity leave working on projects, finishing the nursery, learning about the baby, learning how to be a mom.

Just having that kind of time off was such a luxury. It did go by way too fast of course.

And it is so easy to look back at times like that with rose tinted vision. Oh YAY everything was magical and perfect and amazing!! Hahaha no.

Baby Grey has proved to be a fairly challenging baby. He dealt with major gas, silent reflux, NOT a good sleeper, crying fits that would melt my heart and also make me want to throw a chair through a window.

Something I have learned is that my patience is close to endless. It is insane. I thought I would have a much harder time dealing with a baby screaming in my ear, but when it is is mine it is so different, I just shhhhh and coo until everything is better.

I feel very all over the place with this post. There is SO much to say about that time, yet for some reason I can't verbalize any of it.

I'll have to just break the important things down into individual posts. Le Sigh....