Some days are difficult. Today is one of those days. First thing I see on FB is a pregnancy announcement with a due date the same week as mine would have been. Ouch.
C and I also had a conversation over the weekend about TTC and the toll it has taken on us emotionally. We decided that I should take a break from charting. That we should take it as it comes and just let it happen instead of trying to force it.
This brings many mixed emotions. I realize that I'm lucky, that my cycles are very regular. I know that I probably don't need to chart. I just feel like it gives me something to keep me occupied.
I guess it will probably be good. We are going to focus on things we want to do, goals, planning trips, etc. Obviously I'm not sure what the doc will suggest as far as next steps, I think we really will have to decide what to do based on our options.
Anyway, I don't know where I was going with this post. I guess I'll be able to say more after my apt. I guess sometimes shit just sucks. I'll leave you with this quote I found:
As corny as this sounds... I think you and I need to be friends!! We have way too much in common. Thank you for sharing your story and life. It is really comforting to find other people going through the same things that I am. I have had 4 miscarraiges - the last one, the only one that we had tested, was a triploidy 69 xxx - which I did not know was a little girl until I read your post. I had my d & c done last year on valentines day - she would have been 9 wks. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my losses and the desire to try again is overwhelming for me most of the time. However hubby does not want to try any more - he doesn't think he could handle another loss. I have an appointment with a genetics counselor next week - I hope they can give me some happy news - I really want a miracle and for them to promise me it will not happen again and that I will be prego fast and have a heathy baby ASAP!! But I know that's not gonna happen - any way thank you again for your posts. Take care :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have had to go through so many losses. And also sorry you do not have any answers yet.
DeleteI can completely understand the feelings of wanting to give up. My husband and I have each been there many times.
I often picture my life without children to see how I would feel about it.
If you can afford it or have insurance I definitely recommend looking into IVF with PGD. That is where we are right now and it feels better to think that we might have a fighting chance the next time around. I just wish it weren't so damn expensive :(
Lots of thoughts to you and your husband to get through this together. Keep in touch, it is a lot easier to know others that have been in a similar situation. (as shitty as it is)